Still
by Evil Lil' Katbird
Summary: Phone talk. Buffy and Angel make up. ...And stuff like that.


Still

Angel sat alone in his dark office for the second time that week. LA was giving him a heck of a time, corporate vampires, parasitic demons... and loneliness. His thoughts drifted back to happier times, times before Angelus had taken over his body. Back to Buffy. 

_Love, I see forever in your eyes_

_I can see Heaven in your smile_

_And when I hold you close_

_I don't want to let go_

_Because deep in my soul I know girl_

_You are the only light I see_

_Your love means everything to me_

_I promise that we'll never part_

_'Cause you'll always be here, in my heart_

He had once said he'd never leave, that he'd never let her down. He had lied. He felt awful for lying to her, knowing inside that it would never work out. It hurt him inside more than the demon ever could.

When he had left without saying goodbye, that was the hardest. But the knowledge that if goodbyes were said, that the would mean a real goodbye, never seeing her again... That could never happen.

Angel loved the Slayer with all his heart, even if it no longer beat. He did it for her own good, she was a Slayer, their lives were short, so why spend it with him? He didn't believe a bit of his own reasoning. He tried to listen to the rational part of his brain, but that was the part that was unbelieving.

"_Just check up on her, see if she's okay_," his mind told him. "_You didn't even bother the last time, you chickened out_."

He jerked out of his trance and reached for the phone. As the receiver came off the cradle he whispered a prayer for strength to Heaven. Hoping someone up there got his message, he dialed the number.

************

Buffy sat down on her bed. She felt crappy, like someone had dropped a ten-ton weight on her, not just a hundred-pound vampire. 

She glanced slightly over at Willows' things across the room. A picture of Oz on the wiccans' dresser.

Now, why didn't she ever take a picture of Angel?

Suddenly catching herself and throwing the thought away, she laid down on the bed. 

Just like some boomerang, the thought came back, full force. Angel... Angel, the brooding vampire who stole her heart, the one in the world she'd do anything for. The one who left without so much as a second glance.

There was hate there, but there was also love. 

Hate for the demon, for Angels' stubbornness, for how he hurt her so. Love for his devotion, for his trust, for every aspect of his being.

_If the sun, should refuse to rise_

_And the moon, doesn't shine in the night_

_The tides won't change, seasons rearrange_

_When the world is through_

_I will still love you_

She silently wished she could hear his voice, just once to hear if he was okay.

That's when the phone rang.

************

"Hello?" Buffy. His mind swam. It was Buffy. She sounded mad, annoyed, maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all. "Hello?" He didn't answer. "Look, if this is whoever called me last-"

"B-buffy?" His voice sounded strange, even to his own ears.

"-time... Angel?" He didn't answer again. 

"Angel?" Buffys' voice was filled with hope, hope that he might come back.

"Hello, Buffy," his throat was dry, he couldn't help it. She was okay, he supposed. Probably a little mad at him for calling, but okay.

"Angel," her voice was icy. "What do you want?"

"I-I just wanted to see if... if you were alright."

"If I was alright," she repeated, "If **I** was **alright**?! You left me, Angel! You left me alone, with no one to turn to, and you ask me if I'm **alright**?!"

"This was a bad idea," Angel went to set the phone down, but was interrupted by his name being called on the other end.

"Angel, please don't go, I'm sorry."

"I'm here."

"Look, I... I just didn't expect you to call and-and I've had a really, really bad day..."

"Shh, it's okay. And I'm the one that should be sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't know it would hurt you this much."

"Then you're coming back?" Hope shone through, Angel felt so bad for having to shatter it.

"Buffy, you know I can't. We can never-"

"Oh, stop it! Don't you go into that Slayer-life-span-vampire-never-gonna-work crap! You left because you said that you wanted me to have a normal life. Well, get it through your thick dead skull, I'll never have a normal life! I'm a Slayer!"

Angel winced at her words, but inside he knew she was right. 

"I can't be happy with anyone but you, Angel. You know just as well as I do that I won't ever get over you. You've changed my life for the better, I can't love anyone else like I do you. Please, try to understand that for once."

"Buffy, I love you with all my heart and soul, but... we both need time apart."

"You weren't planning on staying in LA, were you?"

"Truthfully, I don't know. I figured that if you were happy I'd stay away, but-"

"Angel, I'm not happy. I can't be happy anywhere that you're not around." 

"Nor can I. But we both need time apart to work things out. I-I'm helping people here, doing some good, right now, I'm here. But in the future, in a few years, I will come back."

"Promise?" Buffy sounded like a little girl on Christmas morning.

"Yes, I promise."

_Girl, you're like an angel from above_

_Sent here to shower me in your love_

_Hold me beneath your wings_

_Tell me all of the things_

_All the hopes and the dreams we can share_

_'Cause I'll be your shelter from the storm_

_I'll be the fire that keeps you warm_

_I'll be your light in the dark_

_'Cause you'll always be here in my heart, oh girl_

_************_

He was coming back. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but he **was** coming back. Buffy forgot all the hate she felt twords him for leaving and replaced it with a sliver of hope. As long as that hope stayed there, as long as that candle burned, there was hope for them. 

************

Angel felt as if a great weight had been lifted. She still loved him. After he had walked out of her life, she still loved him. 

He couldn't bare to lie again, he would go back. He had to, for her. For her he would walk into the sun, he would wait all eternity just to see her smile at the end. 

There was still hope.

_If anything could last forever_

_It's what I feel for you_

_Oh, baby, you touch my heart in ways_

_That words could never say_

_That's why I'll always love you _

_If the sun *if the sun*, should refuse to rise_

_If the moon *and the moon*, doesn't shine in the night_

_The tides won't change, seasons rearrange_

_When the world is through_

_I will still love you _

_Yes I will, love you still baby *I will still love you*_

_Girl, believe, you're all I need_

_I will still love you_

***END***


End file.
